I really want to report "mission accomplished" on yesterday's 2 mile route but despite being in the right headspace and my legs willing me on, the lungs unfortunately really couldn't cope with running more than 200m at a time. It's really hard to explain how it felt but I just couldn't get enough air into my lungs (bit like how I imagine suffocating feels) and after walking for a bit to recover and attempting another run section, when that became too much, I literally had tears threatening out of pure frustration. I find it really hard not to be able to do something or to have to give up on something I set out to do, especially when it's something I could do no probs just last week. It just doesn't make any sense to me.
Worse. This is totally out of my control. I hate giving myself excuses or sounding like a victim or even mentioning the following at all (so this will be my only mention of this in 2011) but as I feel like I've been a complete basket case since Janathon started, I should explain that I have a chronic lung condition. On my good days I have half the lung capacity of a normal adult, on a bad day it can be really, really rubbish (think a 70 year old, 2 packet a day smoker) and I literally get out of breath climbing a few stairs or as on Tuesday - struggle to walk slowly and talk at the same time. Admittedly I am feeling atypically maudlin about my lung condition and my current lack of running ability as I found out yesterday that a guy with the same condition as me sadly died. He was just 31. Just four years older than I am. Thirty-one doesn't feel like a good innings and so I think I'll stay 27 for a few years. Well that's that sorted!!
However enough said. I am actually incredibly lucky and typically very well (in fact I am probably one of the only people in my office who hasn't contracted some hideous winter plague by the sound of the raucous coughs that surround me all day). Plus I have some amazing people cheering me on even despite my continued running ineptitudes - Gemma, Kaye, Christine - you really made me smile and even more determined to do this - thank you so much - your support couldn't have been more timely and welcome! Plus as a backup, there's always the contest I have to outlive my Dad and he's planning to reach his 85th Birthday! We're both quite competitive about everything it seems!!
On a more relevant note, I stayed within the rules of Janathon both yesterday and today as I completed a SUPERchick's training session (mostly strength stuff) two days in a row and yesterday and today I walked 5 miles. Even despite being on light running duties during today's SUPERchick session (I managed just two very slow running intervals whereas my fellow SUPERchicks completed about 20,000,000!), but I do feel it has helped and I was walking much faster from the bus stop to the flat after which is a good sign. Hopefully by Sunday that 2 miles route will be "mission accomplished" and with it, no more excuses!! xx
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