Crossfit 101

Crossfitters don't mess around.

They certainly don't do gossip!! ;-((

Well this crazy girl was given a gruelling workout courtesy of Crossfit and the 101 degree Texan heat but as a result I am feeling much more chilled.  Que Sera Sera. Panic over - that and my dear friend reassured me the panic button I found isn't remotely linked to the SWAT team and they won't come bursting in in the early hours when I am just trying to ascertain what time it is and whether it is worth going back to sleep - PHEW.

My first experience of Crossfit had me a little nervous as literally everything sports related does. Especially anything sports related where people don't actually appreciate yet just how lame I am at physical exertion. Everyone present bar one person and moi was tres toned, taut and resembling extras from a modelling shoot i.e only hotties need apply. Plus this might be the only gym in the planet that doesn't do air con and yet is probably one of the ones that would really benefit from a little chillage. Did I mention the temp. You sweat just standing still. This actually works to my advantage as it appears that I am working my a$$ off and sweating buckets when actually I am just crossing the room to get a drink. :-)) Today was an 'easy' workout: 400m sprint (the man in charge and I quickly agreed that 400m sprint outside in 101 degree heat with no shade was not going to happen (thanks British accent) so a just beyond a jog pace compromise was reached). Then each run interval was to be followed by 50 air squats and the run squat combo repeated four times total. Doesn't sound too bad. But wait got to do the warm up first including some new moves - kettle belling - eek, pull ups on a bar like 7 feet off the ground - OMG, and some wall thingamagigs (official name)

Some essential crossfit terminology explained for crossfit newbies - i.e. Meeeeeeee!!

1. An 'air squat' is not letting one rip as you are squatting - now, now ;-)) and it's not a jump squat - hallelulia instead you squat literally to ankle height so inches off the ground before standing. Ouchy. Fortunately we agreed 20 air squats ie 80 total might be a good place for me to start rather than 200 if I want to walk tomorrow and they even gave me a squishy medicine ball to sit on when I got to the bottom of the squat to ensure I went low enough. So kind.

2. The evil burpee is done differently here too - much like brazilian and hollywood waxes - DON'T ASK! So where as I have always done a burpee by getting down into press up position before jumping up and repeating, these guys go right down to floor level before getting up. Dignified is apparently not the name of the game - thanks SF for that reassurance xx

3. Kettle belling is also not about swinging a weight around as I previously thought. It actually requires moving the kettle bell with your legs and hips NOT your arms. It's probably easier to move the kettle bell with my mind at this stage!! Those babies are heavy and the neurone pathway from hip to brain to arm is currently non-existant. Fortunately practise makes perfect and I have some great teachers.

4. 'Argh - my feet are on fire'. This is what happens when you are a Crossfit newbie so still weak willed and still acclimatising to running in insane Texan heat along a non shady route in your monkey shoes.  My feet were literally steaming. That's never happened before. I am a little scared to take my shoes off and check out the burn. I am sticking to running in trainers in future. Regardless running slowly here is clearly not an option (SF calls it multitasking: tanning whilst jogging. LOVE it) Plus as an extra incentive the first two people back get to workout in front of the two GIANT fans before setting off for the next run - I WILL be hog-the-fan-lady one day.

5. Pull ups and learning to kip. My model friend/crossfit master/ all-round SUPERhero SF can do 92 pull-ups using a band but then again she can hold both her 4 month year old and 23 month old in her arms simultaneously - told you SUPERhero. I can hold one or other of her bundle of cuteness - both at the same time is NEVER going to happen ;-)) FYI: The band doesn't make pull ups easier it just makes them possible if you're female and if you are not a professional weight lifter. Kipping is an art form and a way of using the band and keeping great form as you do your pull up. Purely so SF can check I did my homework - my abysmal performance won't be because I don't know what to do just that I haven't yet mastered it ;-)) - check here as to what I need to learn to do:

Except wait I can't resist this gem. This is almost exactly what SF's Crossfit gym, where my Crossfit initiation occurred, looks like. Plus it explains what Crossfit is all about way better than I ever could. Truly the men are this ripped and they want me to focus on swinging a kettle bell! *Distracted* ;-))

Don't worry you will all hear when it's tractor tyre tipping day - just read my obit and weep!!

Here's the pull up with band demo - Mel's DOM band has a new rival ;-)):

This video and the awesome lady featured reassures me that a pull up might be possible

This last vid is totally for fun but evokes the dilemma going on in my head about conventional gym fitness and Crossfit. It kinda crosses the line with some unnecessary naughty/for Adults only lingo but some of the fitness sentiments did make me smile at the same time.

In summary Crossfit is scary, I am wayyyyyyy out of my comfort zone and it is an intense learning curve for my mind, body, my miniscule muscles and below par fitness, but at the same time I really want to climb the gym rope they have hanging from the ceiling like I NEVER did at school and master the pull ups, the kettle bells and running in the heat without burning my feet on the road and so much more all in just under 15 mins a session. It's official - becoming fluent in Crossfit has been added to my summer goal list, along with actually wearing a bikini on the beach (Hannah's fourth challenge to me in the skydiving bet - EVIL but not forgotten Han ;-))), driving a car in the US and not driving on the wrong side of the road - Cali roadtrip!!!, completing a 5km run and a half marathon plus a few other top secret goals.

I like a challenge. I am Girl on a Mission xx