Full Disclosure

“My Name is Girl on a Mission and I’m a Sugar Fiend.” My teeth should be aching after all the sugar I’ve had over the last four days –as ashamed as I should be to admit it, I’ve consumed (in no particular order) – 2 Krispy Cream Glazed Donuts, 6 Smartie Bites (120kcals each BUT AMAZING) 2 x 100g Cadbury’s Diary Milk, 3 Reeces Cups, 4 Twister Ice-creams and I can’t really remember what else.

Worst still there was absolutely no particular reason for the sugar fest: I wasn’t in a particularly bad mood, wasn't suffering from PMS, hadn’t just been dumped (if wishing made it so), wasn’t told to clear my desk (well that’s coming any day now but I’m not quite there yet) and wasn’t even just generally hating myself. There was absolutely no reason for it. More bizarrely than that, after chowing down one of the 100g bars of Dairy Milk in less than 10 mins, I distinctly remember feeling nothing at all, not an emptiness and not guilt but something resembling what I imagine people who meditate experience – just a peaceful tranquillity washing over me. I know you think I sound crazy. You should know that I know that you think I sound crazy for writing this. But seriously that’s how I felt.

It’s weird (though not completely unexpected, if I’m honest) but after all the effort, sweat and toil, ultimately I’m still a chunky monkey with a uncontrollable penchant for sugary treats. I’m not a radically different person just because I no longer have three chins. Although my mindset has altered massively on the exercise front and what feats of athleticism I can accomplish when I put the effort in, my mindset has not shifted even a millimetre with regards to the sugar habit. I do eat more salads and fruit and I’ve even started a tradition in the office to bring in fruit not just cakes (I DID THAT. ME. – SO PROUD!!!), but at the same time I literally have no appetite to cut down on the sugar. (I crack myself up at my own jokes all the time! Did I mention I’m single?!)

Underneath it all I have a sense that autumn’s on its was – I know it’s still August, but honestly I can feel it – the mornings are darker, the grass is wet with dew and the evenings are starting to close in quicker. Plus my summer hols was eons ago!! With the onset of autumn is the knowledge that my summer fitness adventure is ending and I never made it into a bikini (and likely NEVER will). I can’t sustain this level of exercise for that much longer as it’ll soon be just too dark/dangerous to be out walking at 5am in the morning and 9pm at night. When that happens and I revert back to my old habits, most probably I’ll just regain the weight in a third of the time it took me to lose it all. Now I’m definitely not feeling a sense of peaceful tranquillity wash over me!

I don’t know how to solve my sugar addiction. If I did I’d be very wealthy woman and able to shrug of impending unemployment with a devil-may-care attitude, not to mention able to afford as much liposuction as my heart desired. What I do know is that I am still totally shocked to discover that you should only have a small sugary treat once a week and ideally just ONCE A FORTNIGHT. (According to SuperSlim SuperTrainer SuperNutritionist Sarah). Even weeks after discovering this, this is still totally alien, not to mention mind blowing to me. x