My Family and Other Animals

"That's the trouble with this family," said Larry bitterly; "no give and take, no consideration for others."

"You don't have much consideration for others," said Margo.

"It's all your fault, Mother," said Larry austerely; "you shouldn't have brought us up to be so selfish."

"I like that!" exclaimed Mother. "I never did anything of the sort!"

"Well, we didn't get as selfish as this without some guidance," said Larry.

(Family tete a tete about moving a donkey - Gerald Durrell, 1956)

(ZsaZsa - still looking deceptively puppyish - but honestly she is 13)

So far I'm not loving this Easter - the weather is rubbish and my Dad is driving me crazy and worse I'm letting it. Irking me most is the fact that besides accompanying my Dad on a rubbish bin purchasing expedition and measuring up what feels like every fish tank in a twenty mile vicinity (GOOD TIMES!!), my Dad is refusing to commit to a 10 mile walk on the South Downs - instead suggesting that we do three circuits of the local Dog Park.

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm NOT a dog person - they bark incessantly, defecate in the most inappropriate places, spend too much time with their noses in other dogs' butts, shed more hair than Prince William and have a tendency to BITE ME. Evidently the dislike is mutual. One exception to this is the family hound, ZsaZsa (or as her Vet Record has her "ZsaZsa Bellissima Darling").  Unfortunately she is now a great dame as at 13 years old, or 91 doggy years she is undoubtedly now in the Golden Years of Life.  Secretly I'm going to be devastated when she goes and have been dreading coming home not to find her there so have been trying to convince Dad to get her stuffed to keep in our living room permanently, in the manner of TV soap Scrubs - hell we could even measure her up for her own glass case. 

ZsaZsa has been around for half my life and after 13 years of knowing me is probably the only living creature, other than the Hare, that is still faintly pleased to see me. (I should add that she's now partly blind - the dog not the Hare - so it's very probable that she has no idea who I am - but she hides it well!)

Most importantly however, despite poor sight, ZsaZsa can still distinguish between tasty snack and Human Flesh and so remains the only dog I will allow to take food off my hand - unlike the interloper Daisy Dog who cannot differentiate between her nose and tail with great success yet alone tasty snacks.  Most amazingly is that after 13 years of family rows, tantrums (mostly mine it appears) and other general unpleasantness, ZsaZsa is the only member of the family who has survived it all unscathed, remained on talking terms with everyone and is just as nice mannered and lovable as when she was deposited as a puppy in the then giant dog basket under the breakfast bar all those years ago. The same is definitely not true for the rest of this clan and last night I should have followed ZsaZsa's lead and taken myself off for a gander round the garden but instead decided to revert back to teenage rage and lambast my father with all my current frustrations. V. MATURE. (In my defense, after recent inroads into increasing my fitness, I now cannot cope with being cooped up inside).

Luckily in the years since I was a teenager some things have changed:
1. I now take time to work out what I can yell at him about that doesn't betray a family secret or isn't too below the belt. (Another thing I love about ZsaZsa is that a conversation with her OR about her doesn't land me in trouble - unlike just about every other conversational topic which is pretty much taboo with at least one member of our family)
2. My father has developed narcoleptic tendencies.

So when I returned to give my father a piece of my mind - I found him comatose in his chair - so had to satisfy myself with glowering at him for 20 seconds and cursing him as I stalked off to bed - like I said MATURE.

Hopefully Day 3 of Easter will go better - it looks hopeful - ZsaZsa has already bounded up to rest her head on my lap. She ain't dead yet and it looks like she has one more walk in her - South Downs is it - coming Dad?! x